T.O. Is So So, Ah Bientot

(Hey listen, I've had to endure every kind of idiotic permutation of the consonant-vowel combination of "T" and "O" today along with related words that apply to this whole fiasco, so I'm DEFINITELY allowed to concoct something of my own.)

OK, so Owens apologized, but Andy Reid said, "Nyaah nyaah, you're still done with us." Also, great USA Today sports columnist Ian O'Connor agreed with the Eagles course of action.

Here's what I think again (and it turns out that I was wrong earlier...Hugh Douglas does have some kind of PR-related job with the Eagles after all):

With Owens gone, the Eagles have a built-in excuse now for tanking their season. I think their "brain trust" saw that they had NO SHOT of returning to the "big dance" in January, so they threw this whole "accumulated offenses" rap at Owens to use him as a scapegoat.

I'm sure it was Owens' fault that the Eagles ran for 45 measley yards on Monday night against the Washington Redskins, the team with the worst running defense in the league. And I'm sure it also was Owens' fault that Brian Westbrook, the team's second best offensive player now behind Donavan McNabb, wasn't even on the field on the 4-and-7, last-play-of-the-game call by Andy Reid where McNabb threw the interception to end it.

Hey, I don't like Owens personally either, but let's consider this about football players. Sure, they have to keep themselves in shape basically 24-7 unless they're linemen, and even THAT is debatable, I know, but basically they ply their craft for only 6 months a year. Pre-season starts in late July, they may play 3 games that don't count from July until August, then 16 regular season games with a "bye" week, then a maximum of 3 playoff games if they get to The Super Bowl, then the Pro Bowl maybe which they could blow off, and they're done. Compare this with the NHL, where they could play from September through June if a team gets to the Stanley Cup Finals; the NBA, where they play approximately for the same duration with MUCH WORSE of a travel schedule, and they crash into each other with no padding and land on a hardwood floor; or Major League Baseball, where they play 162 games, many in scorching heat. Yes, I know football players have to put up with a great deal of pain while they're playing and after they're done, unfortunately, and no professional athlete has it easy with travel I know, but on the other hand, look how handsomely they're compensated (and yes, I know that was hard won and shouldn't be messed with).

Also, I'm tired of this argument that Owens "was hurting team morale." I don't know about your employer, but mine really doesn't care about "our morale" (they SAY the opposite, but that's another story of course). For that reason, I DON'T CARE about the "morale" of the Philadelphia Eagles. They're getting paid to such a degree that they can overlook any "morale" issues and do their jobs. Segregate Owens if you have to, but I wanted to see him on that field doing what he does best.

I think longtime sports columnist Bill Conlin of The Philadelphia Daily News had a good take on this situation today.

Experts in the area of pathological behavior will study the meltdown of Terrell Owens from All-Pro to All-Psycho... The purged Eagle is headed right for feature-article status in the New England Journal of Medicine. Maybe he'll even get a syndrome named for him, the true measure of the white-coat big time. You know the guy has hit the controversy lottery when national straight news talkers such as Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh set aside FEMA, bird flu and their other topics du jour to take a few whacks at the banished Big Bird... My thoughts? Let's see, last I looked, T.O. was headed for the Pro Bowl and had broken no team-discipline rules. He has had no busts for drugs, date rape, attempted manslaughter, DUI or concealed deadly weapons, and I doubt that Andy Reid has a fine for serial stupidity or parched lawn. I'm not sure T.O. has even been cited for spitting in a public place or jaywalking. While I acknowledge he is the most malignant strain of locker-room cancer since Wilt Chamberlain forced his trade to the Lakers, it's hard for me not to comment that if the same rules had applied to another rebel named Richie Allen nearly four decades ago, No. 15 might have had about a 20-game career. Imagine if T.O. had whipped out a can of spray paint and scripted "Why?" in the end zone after a score. What if he had failed to show up for a game, then spent the next 3 weeks stonewalling his coach and GM? What if he left three straight games after the third quarter? What if he charged at a heckling Donovan McNabb during warmups and suffered a major shoulder injury during the ensuing brawl?

They say revenge is a dish best served cold. Michael Irvin, who drew a thunder of sadistic cheers when he was gurneyed off the Veterans Stadium field in 1999 appears to be enjoying the hell out his role as ESPN's Mr. Interloculator. I'll bet the guy fell asleep smirking after T.O. swallowed the Birds-unbeaten-with-Brett-Favre-at-QB bait like a starving trout hitting a dry fly. Did the former Cowboy, no choirboy himself, cross some kind of ethical fine line? Come on... We all feed on controversy like a heroin addict feeds on a free kilo. Hot-wire sound bites are like the tracks on a junkie's arm. Try speaking four sentences in a row to make a cogent point, and the host starts shaking his head off camera and looking at his watch. A soft answer used to turn away wrath. Now, it turns away viewers.

I disagree with Conlin's assessment of Beck and Limbaugh as "straight news talkers" as opposed to the willful propagandists that they truly are, but he's right on the money otherwise. Also, why anyone would pay attention to the meandering, self-indulgent and clueless utterances of two egotists like Owens and Michael Irvin anyway is one of life's great mysteries, as far as I'm concerned.