(By the way, I also posted over here.)Why lookee here! It seems that the most-high pontificator against rampant secularism and “the homosexual agenda” (whatever on earth that is, and I’ve never heard a good explanation, by the way) has brought us a “holiday” quiz (hey now, you mean it’s not called a “Christmas” quiz, Bill? What a sellout you are!).
And if you take the quiz, why, you’ve automatically entered yourself into a contest to win a copy of Orally’s book, “A Bold, Fresh Piece Of Insanity,” or something (signed, of course).
Well, since Billo has brought us 10 questions to answer in the spirit of the season, I think it’s only fair that I present 10 questions to answer about Falafel Boy on other matters as well, so here they are…
1) Whose electoral victory did Billo falsely certify in the previous election?
a) Ted StevensAnswer here:
b) John McCain
c) Norm Coleman
d) Elizabeth Dole
2) Billo claimed that, if Prop 8 had not been passed in California, then “a man could have (multiple) wives,” even though the state Supreme Court said he was wrong. What was the number of wives Orally claimed a man could have without Prop 8?
a) 5Answer here:
b) 27
c) 162
d) 4,328
3) Complete the following sentence from Billo: “If (Hillary Clinton) wins (the presidency)…my (BLANK) are loaded.”
a) Talking pointsAnswer here:
b) Friends
c) Testicles
d) Guns
4) Who did Billo say John McCain was not associated with in the prior campaign, even though McCain admitted that Orally was wrong?
a) The Easter BunnyAnswer here:
b) G. Gordon Liddy
c) Andrea Mackris
d) Rod Parsley
5) Billo falsely claimed that President-Elect Obama, when he served as a U.S. senator from Illinois, did not vote to condemn attacks on which two figures?
a) Rush Limbaugh and Naomi KleinAnswer here:
b) Dick Cheney and David Addington
c) Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy
d) John Kerry and Gen. David Petraeus
6) To which tyrant did Billo once compare U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi?
a) Adolf HitlerAnswer here:
b) Yosemite Sam
c) Roger Ailes
d) George W. Bush
7) To what did Billo and other conservatives baselessly claim as the reason for this year’s spike in home foreclosures?
a) The presidential electoral victory of Barack ObamaAnswer here:
b) The departure of Susan Lucci from “Dancing With The Stars”
c) The rumored $70-plus an hour salary by GM assembly line workers
d) The Community Reinvestment Act
8) When Billo left CBS News (true!) over a dispute concerning uncredited use of riot footage during the Falkland Islands war in 1982, he wrote a novel in which his character of a reporter exacted vengeance by what means?
a) Verbally abusing on air every single member of the national Democratic PartyAnswer here: (hover over link if you don’t have time to read the article)
b) A series of graphically described murders
c) Losing the coveted 25-54 demographic of his TV talk show to Keith Olbermann
d) Applying an Egyptian or Sudanese fried ball or pastry to female genitalia
9) What disaster reported this year was originally dubbed by Billo as “hype”?
a) Sarah Palin’s $150,000 GOP-financed wardrobeAnswer here:
b) The infamous “lime-green” backdrop in front of which John McCain spoke during the campaign
c) Hurricane Ike
d) Dubya’s proclamation of “welcome to my hanging” during the recent unveiling of his presidential portrait
And finally…
10) Which quote is directly attributable to Billo?
a) “It is not a stretch to say that MoveOn is the new Klan.”Answer? Do you really need me to tell you?
b) “Birth control is not a medical condition. It is a choice.”
c) "I don't want to go on a lynching party against Michelle Obama unless there's evidence, hard facts, that say this is how the woman really feels."
d) All of the above
And I’m sure we can look forward to next week’s holiday feature from Parade, given this terrible lapse of editorial judgment, and that would be the essay “Keeping Christ in Christmas” by Rick Santorum.
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