Thursday, May 04, 2006

It's Right Here, Senator

Congratulations to our esteemed Senator Arlen Specter for managing to grab a headline last Friday from the Washington Post in true publicity-seeking fashion, along with related quotes about “standing up to Bush” and other mantras that play well with those ill-manned, unkempt, nasty little liberals out there (like me).

This is the same man who, of course, brought us the legendary “magic bullet” theory during the JFK assassination (which pierced Gov. Connally’s shoulder in the motorcade, zigzagged into Kennedy’s arm, and somehow managed to signal for a left-hand turn before it then changed course and disintegrated a part of the president’s face all by itself). And who can forget his inquisition of Anita Hill (and yes, I know there were issues on both sides in that mess).

More recently, upon ascending to chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee and making a bold statement on behalf of preserving a woman’s right to choose, he then oversaw and supported confirmation of perhaps the most radical anti-abortion justice this country has ever seen (I say “perhaps” only because John Roberts may end up outdoing him over time).

Last February, his committee called Attorney General Alberto ("It's Only Torture If It Inflicts Bodily Harm.") Gonzales to testify about Dubya’s warrantless spying, and Specter didn’t even swear Gonzales in! Now, Specter is waxing indignant because there apparently isn’t enough furor (apparently none that he can see anyway) over Dubya’s decision to play Big Brother to us all.

Senator, the answer to this quandary of yours is simple. We don’t trust you. How can you expect our support on this or any other issue when you sell us out over and over and over?

Update: Time for "The Arlen Two-Step"...shake it for the left, and then, when the cameras are looking the other way, shake it for the right.

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