Alito Of Him Goes A Long Way

Consider this a primer for the upcoming hearings, which should be very interesting to say the least:

Thing One:

I’m here to ask as best I can
Would you like Scalito Sam?
It’s true he strenuously feels
As U.S. Court judge of appeals
That government needs no assist
Being a strict “constructionist”
From liberal groups with a ”solution”
Of reading in the Constitution
Entitlement, advocacy
And thus a right to privacy
A Princeton grad and Yale law
“Concerned alumni,” Seton Hall
There’ll be no confirmation crisis
Conforming with Cornyn’s “stare decisis”
Beyond the law, his dedication
To the Italian American foundation
Shows a man we must protect
A scholar and an intellect
We mustn’t let “the left” deter
This conservative of character
So I’ll ask again, as best I can
Would you like Scalito Sam?

Thing Two:

No.
I would not like Scalito Sam
I’ll summarize as best I can
He ruled police were right to shoot
An unarmed youth while in pursuit
Who ran from cops in Tennessee
After a $10 burglary
Everyone should be dismayed
By his attack on Roe v. Wade
Pro-choice rights have been hard earned
The ones he’d blithely overturn
Even “Casey” he resents
Without spousal consent
He thinks discrimination’s swell
When found at Marriott Hotels
And don’t fight it at MCP
On grounds of disability
At Congress, he and wingnuts are aggrieved
“Exceeding grounds” on family leave
He finds punishing police abhorrent
Who strip search while carrying a warrant
Immigrants cry in frustration
At his regard for deportation
On this, the high court does guffaw
At Sam’s contempt for “settled law”
“Concerned Alumni” sought his clout
At Princeton, which would thus stamp out
The gains, thus made in small degrees
By women and minorities
And now, he thinks we all are saps
To fight illegal wiretaps
For these and reasons many more
I won’t concur, but do abhor
Promotion, and by cruel design
Ascension of this Philistine
I’ll answer straight as best I can:
I DO NOT LIKE SCALITO SAM!

And neither should you.

Sources: Completed questionnaire submitted by Alito to the Judiciary Committee, Democrats.org, Think Progress, Law.com, The Washington Post, TPM Cafe, and the L.A. Times (I would have linked to all of them, but it would have made it difficult to read).

Here is an interesting link to information on Alito, particularly opinions he's written, from the Philadelphia Inquirer (registration required, of course).

One more thing - I definitely apologize for that awful pun.