So?

OK, now I’m good and riled up!

So, these geniuses at The Pew Internet and American Life Project are making a big deal about what men and women do online, I see. Well, aren’t WE just prone to generalities!

I mean, suppose I want to read more about “The Hero’s Journey” into “Original Experience” and the time and spatial properties of his concept of eternity as theorized by Joseph Campbell in his discussions with Bill Moyers. Or suppose I want to read more online about healing through the use of biorhythms and herbal aromatic therapies. I guess I’m not supposed to do that, am I? Is it because I’M A GUY??!!

Well, I have another side too. Maybe I want to stroll in the forest and explore the inner recesses of my soul on occasion. Maybe I actually want to read Emily Dickinson aloud at times at a coffee house somewhere (and risk incurring wrath not unlike that visited by John Belushi upon the guy playing the guitar in “Animal House”). Maybe I want to be cuddled and nurtured in a fluffy white cloud that will gently transport me to my “happy place.”

But no!

I feel unfilled if I don’t read the stock ticker and determine if my shares of Amalgamated Widget dipped a point or two and figure out how to do an online share transfer into a less aggressive security if I have to. It is my duty to read the news online about the cat that managed to stay afloat in the river in Montana and “Mrs. Partridge” taking her clothes off. I feel an insatiable craving to read every last, excruciating detail concerning the rehab of all of the Philadelphia Eagles’ football players currently on injured reserve.

I MUST VIEW PORN!

Alas, my viewing is confined to that which is easily categorized and defined by some pusillanimous, online know it all. I am unable to probe the inner depths of my being. It’s enough to drive me to despair (sigh).

...

:-)