Little Ricky Has No Clue On McBush’s No. 2

I’m a little late with my analysis, such as it is, of former Senator “Eye of Mordor” and his column yesterday about the possible nominees for vice president on the Repug ticket.

And Little Ricky thus tells the “straight talk express” to…

…err on the side of caution. His choice needs to be a pro-life economic conservative with zero baggage and solid experience in government. Completely noncontroversial.
Why do I suggest that a candidate who has been trailing in national polls and whose party is predicted to take a bath in the coming congressional elections play it safe?

Because this race is not about John McCain.

Really? I’m sure that’s news to the prospective voters polled here (and I have to admit that I got a kick out of this veep suggestion by kossack Trapper John).

Thanks to a legion of factors having nothing to do with McCain, the Democratic presidential nominee should be the prohibitive favorite in November. From the start, the race for the White House was always about the Democrat. Had the Democrats played it safe by nominating an experienced Washington hand, this race would be over - barring, of course, some major external event. Yet, the Democrats didn't play it safe. They threw caution to the wind and threw in with Barack Obama, a fresh new blank slate.

Opportunity thus came calling for McCain's campaign. They could make the fall campaign about Obama. They could define him as dangerously inexperienced and naïve - in addition to being the tax-and-spend, abortion-on-demand, foreign-policy-appeasing liberal that he is.

Aw, c’mon, former Senator Man-On-Dog, make up your mind; is Obama a “blank slate,” or representative of all of the childish labels you just listed?

Or better yet, why don’t you admit to this little escapade of yours in which you said that Obama has “no right to claim” he’s a Christian (and when it comes to criticizing others for using “faith as an avenue to power,” try taking a good look in the mirror before you decide to open up your face and start babbling about that, OK?).

If the Republican victory strategy is to disqualify Obama, McCain can't do anything that would disqualify himself in the minds of these less-than-ideological voters prepared to shift his way. As such, McCain's vice presidential pick has to be a nonevent, something of a yawner.

Is Little Ricky actually endorsing Holy Joe? Based on this latest episode, I think the Republican senator from Connecticut would be a perfect match, and he’s about as big of a “yawner” as you can imagine (whenever he isn’t whining like the baby he is, though). Of course, the problem is that all of those anti-choice zealot “values voters” McBush needs, particularly in the South, would sit on their hands in protest and not bother to vote for him.

And I love Santorum’s criticism of “the media” for “drumming up” all of the people on his list. Memo to former Senator “Sanitarium”; if you have a column in the print and online versions of a newspaper ostensibly representing a major city, that makes you a member of “the media” too.

As the screed continues by former Senator Unable-To-Do-His-Math-On-The-Voting-Rights-Act (here…had to dig for this one), he provides a bit of history in his “play it safe” message to “Senator Honor And Virtue,” stating that, though Michael Dukakis actually did that in 1988 when he chose Lloyd Bentsen and Poppy Bush didn’t when he chose Dan Quayle (who looks like a member of MENSA compared to Dubya) as his running mate, “Bush the elder was running in a more favorable political climate than the one McCain faces today,” which is an absolutely true observation, shockingly enough.

However, I believe McBush truly needs to shake things up here, if for no other reason, than to divert attention from his myriad verbal screwups. And if he ends up believing the same thing I do, then Bobby (“Don’t Call Me Piyush”) Jindal is his man (who had this to say about Holy Joe, as it happens).

Unless of course, this is all just some political “fan dance” by our now-happily-departed Republican former senator, hiding his true intention of somehow reserving that second spot for himself in the event that McBush’s prospects don’t pan out somehow (and it is a continual source of amusement to me that Tom Ridge always manages to end up on these lists – kudos for his military service, but not for his forgettable term at DHS, to say nothing of his time in charge of this commonwealth).

And it’s not as if former Senator “White Sepulcher” hasn’t been busy building his “base” all over again, as noted here, full of people whose acceptance of McBush would immediately change from “going through the motions” passivity to unconditional allegiance with Santorum on board, scarily enough.

In that event, if anyone doubted whether or not the race is “about John McCain,” they wouldn’t be doubting any more. The problem is that, with Little Ricky and his “dog whistle” conservative sideshow, McBush might be more electorally safe (relative to this political climate, of course), but I’m sure he’d be sorry.

And by the way, bravo to Dan Wasserman of The Boston Globe for this.