The King Of All Media Departs

It’s incumbent on me, I guess, to comment on the last non-satellite broadcast of the Howard Stern show, which took place today (broadcast on Yahoo also). As I write this, I’ll assume that you, dear reader, know nothing about him. I realize that’s a bit of a stretch, but I hope there are a handful of you out there.

I definitely have mixed emotions about Stern’s exit from “free” or “terrestrial” radio (whatever the correct term is for what is, for the most part, heavily pre-programmed and pre-filtered garbage broadcast on the frequency discovered by Edwin H. Armstrong many years ago). I wish him luck, and I thank him for the moments of entertainment he actually managed to provide. I also want to commend him for doing something with the medium that no one else thought could be done.

He has stated often that he invented the format he has followed for many years, but that isn’t true. Others in radio, such as the radio team of Hudson and Landry in Los Angeles, and to a much lesser degree Don Imus many, many years ago, dealt with the type of scatological fare that Stern trades in on a continual basis, though this content was much tamer for its time. The difference with Stern, however, is that, through smarts, guile, deception, dedication, loyalty to his listeners and a staggering amount of old-fashioned hard work on his part and that of his expert term of talent, he has managed to create not just radio broadcasting success, but a genuine movement of a fashion bordering on cult worship.


I remember when he came to the Philadelphia market in the early 80s broadcast over WYSP FM. He went head-to head with radio personality John DeBella of WMMR, who had become the top DJ for the much-sough-after 18-to-34-year-old male marketing demographic (DeBella had achieved this by dethroning a 70s-era-easy-listening radio personality named John Harvey who represented some kind of match between John Denver and an urbane, sophisticated wiseass…way too mellow as the 80s beckoned, and DeBella tore him up). One of the first things Stern did was stage a mock funeral to drum up support, which was a clever but utterly tasteless gesture to promote his show (with main sidekick Robin Quivers in tow). Stern also found a way to get a testimonial for his show from DeBella’s troubled ex-wife, their divorce having just been completed. DeBella’s ex-wife eventually committed suicide, though no one to my knowledge blamed Stern for that and Stern expressed sorrow profusely over it.

Stern of course eventually toppled DeBella, and DeBella kept his show on WMMR for a time before he was let go. After this occurred, DeBella landed on WYSP also, and Stern held a joint news conference where DeBella acknowledged that Stern was number one, with DeBella also trying to promote his show that would follow Stern. This arrangement lasted for a time until DeBella was let go from that show also. He is now the morning personality on WMGK, the “classic rock” station in this area.

I should also note that Stern has also shown moments of genuine class. DeBella’s sidekick on his show in the 80s was Mark “The Shark” Drucker, who Stern actually hired in his capacity as a radio station general manager many years ago (it’s easy to forget just how accomplished a professional in the radio business Stern really is). After the DeBella “Morning Zoo” show broke up, Drucker picked up other radio jobs in the Philadelphia area, finishing his career at the AM all-news station KYW 1060. When Drucker died of cancer earlier this year, Stern was very felicitous towards him, pointing out that, in all the years of hurling insults back and forth with DeBella, Stern never attacked Drucker because of his fondness for him as a person and a professional.

Despite all of this, I have to admit that I never gave much thought to Stern until my wife introduced me to the show. I have heard him at times when he has been genuinely funny, either in improvised moments or scripted routines. However, most of the time it is obviously that he is either repeating popular bits in the mode of “Saturday Night Live” or “pressing people’s buttons” because he doesn’t have anything else to do. At the occasion of the death of Frank Sinatra in 1998, the only “contribution” I remember from Stern on that occasion was sarcasm. He also seems to blindly champion people who are “friends of the show” such as former New York senator Alphonse D’Amato regardless of all else. I realize that it’s Stern’s right to do that, but that doesn’t mean that I have to like it. Stern also frequently defends Republicans over Democrats, though I definitely don’t think that that’s intentional. I noted elsewhere that I thought Stern was wrong to chastise Mario Cuomo, and in Stern’s defense, he did everything in the world that he could to help John Kerry last year, and I don’t think Kerry even gave Stern the benefit of a phone call for Stern’s Herculean efforts (aside from showing rudeness, it was also an indication of Kerry’s essentially “tone deaf” campaign).

What I would also say in Stern’s defense, though, is that I cannot imagine how difficult it is to prepare and execute his extremely popular radio program the way he does (and getting up each day at the ungodly hour of 4 AM). During his morning broadcasts, it would not be unusual for him and his crew to begin at 6 AM and go on past 11 AM EST, especially if something newsworthy was happening (the news segment with Robin Quivers being the last one on the show, though Quivers of course contributed throughout the broadcasts). Also, Stern is a good interviewer and has a GREAT voice for radio. I cannot communicate strongly enough how exasperating it is to try and listen to a whispery, mumbling radio person amidst a kitchen full of activity on a busy morning before work and school (suffering from “NPR-itis,” I guess…are you reading this, Windsor Johnston of WRTI?). How much sense does it make when you can’t hear someone who makes their living with their voice?

One of Stern’s shining moments came on September 11th, 2001, when he stayed on the radio for hours in a state of near-total exhaustion so people had the opportunity to call in and communicate their whereabouts to loved ones, describe what was happening on that day from hell, and generally sound off. Years prior to that, Stern managed to talk a would-be jumper down from the George Washington Bridge, which he reminded everyone of today in his “last of a dying breed” farewell speech during his raucous sendoff party.

Basically, Stern is an acquired taste. I’ve always found it best to tune in periodically to find out if he has an interesting guest (which, as far as I’m concerned, he hasn’t had since James Woods appeared months ago), or if he and the rest of the group (including Fred Norris, Artie Lange, and formerly Jackie “The Jokeman” Martling) are doing or saying something funny. If they are, I listen. If not, I switch to another station or my own music. I also got a kick out of Gilbert Gottfried stopping by for the news segment. Periodically also, some of Stern’s “Whack pack” crew provide amusement (as has Richard Christy with his song parodies…he was a quantum leap over “Stuttering John” Melendez, who he replaced). Also, all of the guests on the show appear willingly to promote something. Event though ridiculous stuff often goes on with them, everyone signs onto it of their own accord.

I once had a discussion with a family member who was shocked to hear that I listened to Stern from time to time, wondering if it was in conflict with my faith. I said it was at times, but I know when to draw the line. When I thought Stern went too far (especially with the young one nearby), I turned off the radio, whether at home or in the car. Besides, there are plenty of people in public life right now claiming to be Catholic who are not acting in accordance with any faith that I was every taught or encouraged to practice (John Roberts comes to mind right away, as does Scumbag Santorum of course, and I could probably make this post considerably longer if I tried to list all of them).

However, I will acknowledge that Stern’s show frequently crosses the line of civility and good taste. However, if Stern hadn’t done that, given the times in which we live, someone else surely would have before him (EVERYONE crosses it now). Stern wasn’t the disease; he was a symptom, and remains that to a certain degree today. The last question I’ll remember hearing from Howard Stern was one he asked a guest at the rally this morning who was a dwarf: “So, how many other dwarf chicks did you bang?”

Another indicator to me that it was time for Stern to leave commercial radio, in the face of truly insane, ridiculous pressure from our government and the fundamentalist crazies who Stern rightly calls “the American Taliban,” was the fact that most of his farewell speech this morning was heavily edited by WYSP. As for us, we probably will sign up for Sirius to hear him next year, but that is on hold pending other matters. Besides, I’m happy with Preston and Steve on WMMR for the foreseeable future.

So, to sum this all up, I just want to wish Howard Stern and his crew the best (“Private Parts” was genuinely entertaining, for the most part, like the show itself) and say thanks for the good times. Anyone who succeeds at something when everyone in the world is throwing dirt all over him is OK in my book.