Speak For Yourself, Friedman

I cannot let yesterday’s New York Times column by Tom Friedman go unanswered; in it, he imagined a speech that Dubya should give to all Arab leaders in which he communicates (with imaginary humility that I don’t think this man has ever possessed in his life or is likely to) the true terrorist threat faced not only by us, but by the world.

(I know that, between Friedman and David Brooks, I’m really going for high-profile targets, but that is partly because I’m spending more effort on the Times instead of the Philadelphia Inquirer, which, more and more, is sinking to the point where it is almost no longer worthy of outrage – I don’t think they featured enough ads for Citizens Bank on the first page of the Business section yesterday, for example; I don’t think three is enough to get anyone’s attention…snark.)

Friedman’s argument is actually quite convincing, but there are at least two problems with it right from the top: 1) Nowhere in this speech does Dubya tell his audience that we’re leaving, which is the most important thing he could possibly say, and 2) It assumes leadership, courage and diplomatic skill that we are not going to see from the person residing at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue until 1/20/09 at the very earliest (again, barring impeachment, as always).

But as I read what Friedman had to say, it occurred to me that he should be taking a taste of his own medicine before he prescribes this “cure” for anyone else, so I thought of this…

I want to take this opportunity to speak to my fellow U.S. citizens and to the world at large. I begin with a simple message: I’m sorry.

I’m sorry that I, perhaps foremost among the elite media punditocracy with the possible exceptions of William Kristol and Christopher Hitchens, served as the most visible cheerleader for our disastrous war in Iraq, which is responsible for the deaths of over 3,300 of our services people, injuries to nearly 25,000 others, and the deaths of very possibly 100,000 or more innocent Iraqis.

I’m sorry for ridiculing and deriding in the most condescending manner possible anyone who possibly disagreed with me or called me into question regarding my wrongheaded commitment to this tragic episode. I’m also sorry that I did all I could to stretch out our involvement in this contact in the most interminable manner possible, and in the process, trying to alter the basic laws of mathematics.

I’m sorry that any consideration for other human beings in this war and consequences visited upon them only occurred to me when I thought of my daughters.

I’m sorry for blaming everyone except myself for the deteriorating state of security (if you could call it that) in Iraq.

I’m sorry for allowing this Saudi poet to bemoan his sad state of affairs without acknowledging our own shortcomings.

I’m sorry for realizing way, way too late that the leader of my country is an unstable moron suffering from narcissistic personality disorder.

And I’m sorry for completely ignoring the role that the war I’ve advocated has played in igniting wider conflict throughout the Middle East.

Friedman’s past words, though they’ve never killed anyone, have been used as a motivation to kill others instead. So such a speech from him, though unlikely, would serve as both a purgative exercise and a means to start bringing this cycle of madness to an end.

Someday…

Update 8/23/07: And isn't little Tommy just sooo brave from the comfort of the studio of Charlie Rose? (h/t Atrios)