The Latest From Vlad “Michael Medved” Putin

It looks like our ol’ buddy Russian President Vladimir Putin (who is scheduled to meet with Dubya in early July, by the way – that should be pleasant) has now embarked on a career as a social critic based on this story.

If he wants to promote “homegrown, Russian culture,” then a good way to do that would be to produce television shows with those themes in mind. And I’m here to help with these suggestions…

"The Sopranskis" (A Politburo member operates a “waste disposal” business, and in that capacity, extorts international petrochemical companies, funds paramilitary groups that commit assorted human rights violations, all in the name of fighting terrorism, and floods the computer software market with virus and spy ware-infected products at a fraction of market cost. Oh, and did I mention his latest scam of sponsoring Russian brides through an Internet dating service who obtain U.S. citizenship to act as drug “mules,” with said girls being, in reality, go-go dancers at his strip club called “Bada Bingski”?)

“Lugovoi’s Island” (Seven journalists embark on what is alleged to be merely “a three-hour tour” in the Black Sea for fact-finding on South Ossetia’s push for autonomy from the country of Georgia, but instead become trapped on a secluded island. Each is killed off one at a time at the conclusion of each episode by poisoning or gunshots, and the last one still alive will be granted an interview with the man accused of poisoning a Russian spy in London of 2006.)

“Legacy Of The KGB” (Tune in for an informative look at how the Russian government “protects” its people through strength and resolve, and not through brutal coercion and outright murder as some have alleged, in particular, regarding the 2003 Beslan school massacre.)

Better yet, Vlad could see to it that a show is produced documenting what has become of the legacy of glasnost and perestroika, hallmarks of the era of former Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev. He could call it “Lost.”

Or, if Vlad gets really desperate, he could try something like this (only about the first two minutes of this apply to this post – I’m reaching here, I know).



And in a related story, as they say...