Stone Gathers Moss - Film At 11

(and "Babs too, later on...)

That may have been the easiest caption I’ve ever written.

You know, the thing that makes me sorriest about the Kate Moss situation is that her three-year-old daughter now knows from every media outlet in the English-speaking world that mommy has a problem with the snowman (not the fun, cuddly kind either of course). But as for Moss herself, let her get help and try to straighten herself out without all of the tabloid gossipy BS, OK (and yes, I know that’s WAY too much to ask because she’s a beautiful blonde who has “fallen”).

And out of nowhere comes another vixen with the same hair color (real or not…I wouldn’t know about such things) who also needs a boost (so to speak) with her career (I was actually going to ignore all of this until I heard Sharon Stone refer to Jesus, and I realized that this was such a preposterous media moment that I had to acknowledge it somehow). Nothing like showbiz “sympathy” to warm the cockles of my heart.

And finally, as long as this has to do with “Hollyweird,” I saw that Barbra Streisand and Barry Gibb are teaming up again to write a song about the Iraq War. I don’t care if the song turns out to be any good; it’s just nice that somebody in celebrity land is actually trying to say something about it on their own (or at least not this fawning, faux country, “soft focus on farmland and pickup truck” nonsense).

Actually, I’ve been thinking about Babs a bit, since I think, in light of the vote on John Roberts (more on that forthcoming) and the apparent cave-in on Harriet Miers that the Dems are contemplating (sending up a bit of a trial balloon to see how fast it gets shot down), they need to “get some true religion” again, and who better than Streisand “to lay on them,” maybe in the form of a song (maybe in the form of a song that goes EXACTLY like this)…

Don’t tell me not to give, I’ve got deep pockets
Stacks of cash to make your eyes pop from your sockets
I’m giving to the Dems ‘cos the country you’ve betrayed

The right-wing revolution, try to derail
Don’t wait for Libby and “turd blossom” to go to jail
Call me up to find a clue ‘cos the country you’ve betrayed

And if I blow it on “Larry King” sir
I’ve already got the “golden ring” sir
Because you know I’ve made it

I’ll step up for liberal causes, forsaking glamour
Dubya’s head’s a plank and here comes a brand new “hammer”
I’ll have to lead the way, ‘cos the coun-trryyyy…

(Here comes the big finish – go for it, Babs!)

…you’ve BEEE-TRAAAAYYYYYY-EEEEDDD!!!

(…and the crowd goes wild! Give her the Oscar now!)