Auf Wiedersehen, Dieter

“Overestimated the potential for synergies,” huh (as noted here)?

Gee, isn’t it just nauseating to read corporate gobbledygook as an explanation for a business development that will no doubt leave a lot of people’s lives in a state of utter upheaval?

Yes, I know I’m coming in late on the sale of Chrysler from Daimler, but if chief executive Dieter Zetsche really wants to know why he didn’t make money with his brand, maybe he ought to read some of this Inquirer article, particularly this excerpt…

"There is too much product and too many dealers," said Carl Weirick, general manager of Anthony D'Ambrosio Dodge Chrysler Jeep in Elverson, Chester County. "Last year was just awful with DaimlerChrysler." He said the company's products were well-made but product rollouts fell flat and the company does not consistently manufacture vehicles with options people want to purchase, loading dealers with tough-to-move inventory.

And as Gail Edmondson of Business Week noted last month, maybe treating shareholders and the media with a bit more courtesy and respect would have helped generate good PR as well.

Another thing – somehow I don’t think the decision to drop a mil in advertising for Time Magazine’s Person Of The Year issue was such a fit of genius (especially given who the “person” turned out to be; I wonder if this story is a “goof”?).

But I think Jonathan Tasini made the best points of all about the sale here, in which he comments on another Times story about the sale…

What first jumps out in this story is the use of the word "perks." The word fits with the typical storyline: American auto companies are in trouble. The trouble is caused by "generous" benefits paid to auto workers. Solution: cut those benefits--referred to here as "perks"-- to save the auto companies.

As a matter of economics, it's worth noting that auto workers "perks" amount to a pension that averages $32,000 if you worked 30 years and retired. And that monthly payment by the company GOES DOWN once a worker begins to collect Social Security. Let's be clear: the Chrysler pension fund is completely funded...

Health care is a big cost item---but, if the auto industry (not to mention the rest of corporate America and many of our political leaders) could get past ideology and focus on economics, there would be a much better solution: a single-payer health care system. If Cerberus wants to make a ton of money, its genius leaders should become immediate advocates for a single-payer system.

…

Daimler succeeded in botching the management of Chrysler, wiping out $25 billion in shareholder value during the time the German company owned Chrysler--and, yet, there is no penalty to those executives who failed miserably. In fact, their pay and pensions have grown.

All the transatlantic intrigue, corporate claptrap and media spin can’t mask the fact that Zetsche mismanaged what could have been profitable operation given the American market and propensity for driving anytime, anyplace, anywhere.

Dr. “Z” indeed – for “zero,” that is.