Will Those Pigs Ever Fly Again?

(The title is a reference to this post by D-Mac at Philadelphia Will Do.)

I know, like me, you’ve all been waiting breathlessly for the latest circulation numbers from Philadelphia’s conservative newspaper of record, and that of course would be the Inquirer. I’m sure you’ve been curious to find out whether or not their efforts to appeal so slavishly to its freeper faithful has managed to pay off, while quite likely leaving numerous current and former subscribers (including your humble narrator) wondering why on earth we pay or ever did pay for the “privilege” of reading their misinformation (which, truth be told, isn’t so much even controversial anymore as it is boring and uninteresting).

Well, this story tells us that the paper’s daily circulation is up 2.3 percent (not earth shattering, but progress all the same).

However, the paper’s Sunday circulation is down 3 percent.

This is a problem because the Sunday editions are where the newspapers make their money, what with all of the circulars attached that manage to fall all over the place inconveniently while you’re picking up stray toys or sliding the paper out of the plastic bag on a rainy day.

So gee, I guess the paper’s stellar editorial lineup including Smerky, freeper mouthpiece Jonathan Last and excerpts from Dick Polman’s blog, as well as the usual insightful but repetitive analysis from Trudy Rubin and more “How Can We Make Philadelphia Great Again?” columns by Chris Satullo just aren’t cutting it, huh?

I wonder what kind of a campaign image Brian Tierney and Bruce Toll of Philadelphia Media Holdings L.L.C. will concoct in the wake of this announcement? A dying quail, maybe?

As long as it doesn’t involve placing another cartoon bee atop the Inky’s Broad Street headquarters, I think everything will be fine.

Update 11/08/07: Oh dear; I was only joking after all (here); I guess everyone at Philadelphia Media Holdings L.L.C. is just pretending the 3 percent Sunday drop didn't exist. I hope they remain comfortable in their delusions.