On A Holiday Wing And A Prayer

We all know that next week prior to Thanksgiving will mark the busiest travel period of the year. However, I should let you know that our government, and President George W. Milhous Bush in particular, is making every effort to ensure that our plane flights proceed smoothly and we all reach our loved ones in time to meet and greet one another on Turkey day, revive simmering hostilities, “table” them long enough to overeat, and then fall asleep in front of the TV while watching football.

Well, sorta.

This Inquirer story today (with the laughable headline of “President clearing way for air travel,” as if Dumbya is somehow reaching his mighty executive hand into the wild blue yonder to accomplish this stellar feat) tells us…

The most significant immediate change is that the Pentagon will open unused military airspace from Florida to Maine to create "a Thanksgiving express lane" for commercial airliners. It will be open next week Wednesday through Sunday, the busiest days of Thanksgiving travel.

I guess it was too much trouble to open this “express lane” prior to now so some airports could have tested it out by routing flights through it to “shake out the bugs.” But as it now, this will happen when the new airspace “goes live” next week. What fun.

Also…

Around Dec. 17, the FAA also plans to begin using some controversial new takeoff headings that will send planes departing Philadelphia over residential areas of Delaware County and South Jersey that do not hear much aircraft noise now, Peters said.

The plan to use those routings, part of a larger airspace redesign effort aimed at reducing delays in the New York and Philadelphia areas, has generated fierce opposition from residents of the affected areas. Delaware County and 10 other municipalities or groups have filed appeals to the FAA's decision to proceed with the plan.

What’s wrong with you complaining residents who will now be greatly impacted by increased noise pollution? Can’t you see that “President 24 Percent Mandate” is “clearing way for air travel” by ignoring your concerns even though you’ve used the proper channels to communicate them? U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

And get ready for this…

The president said other steps were under consideration to reduce crowded skies, such as charging airlines higher landing and takeoff fees at peak hours, and auctioning off landing and takeoff rights to the highest bidder.

I can just see Dubya at the podium now…”OK, what am I bid for international flights from Heathrow to O’Hare? Virgin? U.S. Airways? Southwest? Going once, going twice…”

And by the way, wait for it…

Transportation Secretary Mary Peters acknowledged that airlines would pass along to passengers some of the costs of the higher fees and penalties.

But of course they would. I mean, why should they have to bear the burden? It’s hard enough to cram everybody into coach elbow to elbow with the seat trays bouncing off our knees while showing us bad movies as it is, to say nothing of losing our luggage after we arrive at our destination.

Oy (and by the way, this tells you of some of the antics by Bushco against our air traffic controllers; between Dubya and The Sainted Ronnie R, why would they ever vote for a Repug presidential candidate?).

And before she departed, former FAA Administrator Marion Blakey raised the commercial pilot retirement age from 60 to 65, which earned the approval of Sen. Ted “Internet Inner Tubes” Stevens (and by the way, what’s going on with this investigation anyway?).

Update: Asked and answered by Atrios/Josh Marshall here...

Speaking of Blakey, she left her post in September, her five-year term as FAA Administrator having expired. The name I’ve heard to replace her is Bobby Sturgell, who apparently is acting administrator (makes me wonder why he isn’t in this story and Transportation Secretary Peters is quoted instead). Though I don’t trust anyone nominated by Bushco to head a department, I don’t know if this is an occasion to fight it out over someone who probably will leave once this regime happily departs as well.

Also, I don’t know what exactly is going on in the Senate over H.R. 2881, the FAA Reauthorization Act of 2007, but it really should have been allowed to proceed to a vote by now (and thus fall victim once more to Incurious George and his veto crayon).

Safe travels, everyone (seriously).