Crustacean Love and Horsey Morsels

Yep, you can tell it’s a Friday afternoon in these parts and I’m running short of posting material, so here goes.

First, I was informed by one of my field correspondents that the Whole Foods chain of specialty food stores will sell lobsters in its Maine stores, but it will continue the practice of selling them nowhere else in this country.

And why exactly would it do this? As noted in the story…

The (Maine) lobsters would be kept in private compartments instead of being piled on top of each other in a tank, and employees would use a device that zaps them with a 110-volt shock to spare them the agony of being boiled alive in a pot of water.

I also have it on deep background that the lobsters will be able to spend their final, pre-zapping moments relaxing on barcaloungers listening to Yanni on their headsets while enjoying the all-enveloping comfort of wearing cable knit sweaters.

As the late, great Molly Ivins used to ask about Bushco, are there any adults here?

This appears to be PETA-ism gone completely bonkers. We like the lobster, we catch the lobster, we cook the lobster, we eat the lobster. We’re sorry that the lobster is feeling pain, but it won’t matter when the lobster is being digested in our stomachs.

Whole Foods is a great place, but they’re the ones “in the tank” on this one. Oy.

Next appears this column from Joel Stein about the delicacy of horsemeat, which is kind of a metaphorical equivalent to the last column I recall from him about refusing to support our troops.

I have a feeling this will inspire a new food craze called “Barbaro Burgers,” with this ad slogan: “Get ‘em while you can; hurry on down to a participating food retailer today. They’re going fast, so break a leg!”

(I’m sorry…)