Taking Dubya To School

Arianna Huffington mentioned this site yesterday in a post at HuffPo, which is sponsored by the White House and supposedly offers instruction to kids, and those are two reasons right off the bat to be highly suspicious.

I reviewed the series of lesson plans offered by the White House Parents and Teachers Guide, and I realized that they were missing at least one lesson (I’ll continue to review this to determine if they missed anything else:- ). Here it is:

A History of Presidential Impairment

Teacher’s Guide

Objective

The student will be able to recall moments in the history of the White House when the president acted like a bumbling idiot.

Lesson

The class will examine the legacy of Andrew Johnson’s intoxicated ramblings upon his installation as Vice President, Warren Harding’s futile attempt to hide his mistresses while fleeing from the wrath of his wife (maybe a little more generous on the column width next time, OK?), John F. Kennedy’s intricate series of liaisons with Marilyn Monroe and Judith Exner (hey, fair is fair), George W. Bush’s near-death experience from a moment of clumsiness with a salted pretzel, and other episodes of presidential ineptitude.

Extension Activity One

Measure the observable mental acumen of each of our presidents in coping with situations of stress. Look for any tips or indicators that can be used for future conflict resolution.

Extension Activity Two

Create a collage of illustrations depicting moments of presidential awkwardness and subterfuge. For bonus points, draw photos of Kay Sommersby and Lucy Mercer.

Parents’ Guide

After your child has explored this lesson and completed the activities, ask the following sample questions to extend his/her thinking.

How many words did President George W. Bush mispronounce today?
What memorable lie did Dick Cheney tell today?
How much did Bill Clinton pay for the tote bag he bought from “The Black Dog” in Martha’s Vineyard for Monica Lewinsky (again, fair is fair)
How many of your child’s friends’ parents (got that?) are members of the Democratic Party (contact the RNC immediately with that information if it can be obtained).

By the way, I took it easy on President Ford because I know he’s not doing too well (no joke there) – otherwise, he would have been an easy target.

Also, there was a time when I took shots at the Presidential Prayer Team site, including the kids’ version, but I stopped because I found out that it was privately funded, and though it was full of propaganda, none of it was paid for with my tax dollars. If it comes from the White House, though, that is an entirely different story.