Well, it figures that The Sturdy Beggars would kick off the speculation as to who would end up as the next monthly columnist of the Philadelphia Inquirer here (with Brendan Calling following up here – hat tips for both to Atrios). So I guess I’d better get my nominations in pronto.
I know D-Mac shut down his site a couple of months ago; he used to do this for the Daily News, but I think it fits here also. What follows are my list of candidates and their choice of topics…
So there you have it, Inquirer Editorial Board. Sign these guys up, and you’ll get plenty of “distinct positions on every topic.”Thomas Capano (in his words) – Hey, this says that we may have had a hand in the death of Ibn al-Shaykh al-Libi, somebody we tortured to manufacture a link to Saddam Hussein and al-Qaeda as an excuse for the Iraq war. Why didn’t we just stuff him in a water cooler and shoot a couple of holes in it instead (here)? That would have worked just as well, if only Gerry had shut his mouth and Debbie had decided to have a memory lapse about the gun. And you guys publish Yoo? God, he’s an amateur when it comes to torture. I know all about the real thing. And I’m more “local” than he ever was. Rick Mariano (from the paper) – The Inquirer has consciously added a disgraced former Philadelphia city councilman to its daily op-ed page and Sunday opinion section to counter criticism that our editorials and columns always lean towards good governance and favor sane behavior by our public officials; this allows us to present the “pro-graft, pro-media paranoia, pro-self inflicted injury and pro-delusional voyage to the observation deck of City Hall prior to a conviction in a court of law” point of view. Former State Sen. Vince Fumo (me) – You want to get the “horse’s mouth” point of view from a politician who embodies all of the excesses for which Yoo provided legal cover with his theory of the “unitary executive” (Vince was good at “subordinating independent government agencies,” if you count the Philadelphia Democratic City Executive Committee, to say nothing of shaking down a public utility for a charitable donation)? And an expert in “illegal surveillance” of his ex-wife? Well then, it sounds like Vince is your guy (besides, he’s already appeared in print numerous times to defend himself against a host of allegations, so he’s already had “on-the-job” training).
And if you’re REALLY desperate to boost circulation, you can just give space to this guy (this is a joke, trolls).
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