I Think That I Shall Never See A Poet As Bad As Huckabee

I guess, when you’re a Repug who has utterly ceased to be relevant on the national stage any more, and you watch the progress of events in this country as it tries to rebuild from the wretched failures that occurred while your party was in charge, and you realize that you are not part of that process in any way, you feel irrelevant to the point where all you can do is engage in childish tactics of defiance.

Oh, and I know that’s bound to happen when you’re pretty much goaded by our corporate media, which continues to “report” on whether or not Nancy Pelosi voiced her objections to Bushco’s torture in 2002, 2003, or whenever (I’m not going to provide any more commentary on this matter except to point out how ridiculous it is; as BarbinMD at The Daily Kos says here, what is being ignored is the more-and-more-emerging reality that, instead of being used in the so-called “ticking time bomb” scenario, as Darth Cheney and his acolytes claim, torture was used to try and forge a link between Saddam Hussein and al Qaeda – and here’s more funny business in that regard).

So, perhaps while you hold your breath until your face changes color, you come up with the thought that you’ll poke fun at the individual I noted above since, as already stated, getting back at her seems to be generating some traction for now.

And I guess that explains this.

Well, Mike, two can play at that game (sorry about the utterly fractured meter)…

So Huckabee wants Pelosi to quit?
Well, I’ll be nice and say he’s full of…spit
Could it be that Huck is enraged
‘Cos, since the Clintons left, Arkansas is no longer the national stage?
Or perhaps there’s residual pain
Since, though he trounced Sleepy Hollywood Fred, he still lost to “Gramps” McCain?

Well, attempts at humor are a last resort
For a supposed nice guy who’s really a bad sport
And your “fundie” beliefs contain a lot of dross
Such as saying the death penalty is OK since He didn’t argue on the cross (here)
And jokes about suicide you connive
Along with nearly half-a-mil destruction of PC hard drives? (here)

Well, for independent voters, your shtick won’t “fly”
But I guess it will for that “Walker, Texas Ranger” guy
Yeah, I’ll bet your fellow Baptists think you’re a “scamp”
For making that joke about the “Democrat” concentration camp
And in your state, luckily it’s not a crime
To run up a $6K wedding registry on the taxpayer’s “dime” (here)

And by the way, no matter what Mike sez
Sarah Palin got fewer votes for Wasilla mayor that Joe Biden got for prez (here)
And am I the only one who considers it beyond belief
That “aw shucks” Huck made a joke about the death of the commander in chief? (here)
And if you think only Obama spread around the dough, sue me
Especially since you were called a big spender by Pat Toomey (here)

Oh, and regarding law and order, I know you’re not fond
To recall the history of your “Willie Horton” – Wayne Dumond (here)
And what’s nuttier, you’re $1 billion prize for a “hundred-mile car” (here)
Or ignoring Dubya’s NASA funding cut as you joke about Hillary on Mars (here)
Alas, I know not which Huckabee foible is best
But it does lead me to this request
From Arkansas, please never roam
And spare us the torture of yet another poem

The slo-mo Repug train wreck continues…

Update 5/26/09: What a putz (h/t Atrios)...