In The Spirit Of Bipartisanship

I don’t know how many people are aware of the fact that Sen. Barack Obama called Sen. John McCain when the latter all but won the Repug nomination for president and congratulated him. I call that damn sporting, even though I know McCain will care less about it while we’re hearing in this campaign that Obama is supposedly some kind of a demonic presence as opposed to a flesh-and-blood person from Repug-friendly hate mongers (and in a related vein, this column yesterday from Nicholas Kristof was excellent).

And as a filthy, unkempt liberal blogger, I wasn’t exactly sure what I could do to reciprocate Obama’s gesture towards the opposition, but after reading Bill Kristol’s Times column today, I think I have an idea about that.

You see, Kristol speculates on who should be the VP candidate on the Repug ticket with that “straight-talking maverick” at the top, and he posits the following…

Perhaps the most obvious way McCain could upend the normal dynamics of this year’s election would be a bold vice presidential choice. He could pick a hawkish and principled Democrat like Joe Lieberman. He could reach beyond the usual bevy of elected officials by tapping either David Petraeus or Raymond Odierno — the two generals who together, in an amazing demonstration of leadership and competence, turned the war in Iraq around last year. He could persuade the most impressive conservative in American public life, Clarence Thomas, to join the ticket. There are other unorthodox possibilities.

Yes, there are “unorthodox possibilities” such as Kristol writing a column where he actually knew what he was talking about; Lieberman is officially an independent Senator from Connecticut and not a Democrat, and calling Clarence Thomas “the most impressive conservative in American public life” is actually pretty funny when you think of what it says about other conservatives.

Well, I think I can help out the esteemed Times columnist today and offer some other potential VP choice here, and they are as follows…

Fred Thompson – Yep, I know, lazy, uninterested, but McCain can relate to him as a peer, and Thompson should be able to snap that conservative coalition into place once and for all (and he blogs too! Well, sorta…).

U.S. Rep. Jack Kingston of Georgia – Another conservative darling who spins lies against the opposition like gold, including criticizing Barack Obama for not wearing a flag lapel pin when he appeared on Dan Abrams' MSNBC program (the problem is that Kingston didn’t wear one at the time either). Also, he’s a shoo-in to get a forum on “Real Time With Bill Maher” for some reason – perhaps a selection borne of guilt Maher may feel for not enough conservative representation on his show.

Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia – Kristol suggested Thomas, but why settle for second banana? Love him or hate him, he knows how to work the media, and since there’s no “gray area” with this guy (kind of a concern for yours truly given that he’s a jurist), he’ll always be “good copy,” and he brings all of the personality to the ticket that McCain barely has (and so compassionate also - here too).

Oliver North – Moves easily within the media, military, and political establishments, and he raised about $20 million in direct mail solicitations in 1994 during his failed U.S. Senate run against Chuck Robb (here). Besides, this puts North “a heartbeat away” from what he’s wanted all along anyway. And do you honestly think anyone remembers Iran –Contra?*

*- sarcasm…I hope – ed.

Tucker Carlson – Hey, the guy just lost his show, and he has a built-in sympathetic audience that probably doesn’t know what to do with itself now, to say nothing of the abundance of youth he'd bring to the ticket. Besides, imagine the yuks when McCain blows a gasket and starts reaming him out, given that Carlson could probably pass for one of McCain’s grandkids.

So there you have it, and I hope my selections are beneficial somehow (also, turning about 180 degrees again as it were, here’s a post on another McCain flip flop, this one on waterboarding, and I haven’t made it completely through this article yet written by a doctor that discusses McCain’s medical history, including his bout with melanoma).