The Gospel According To Pancake Joe

Perhaps in an effort to redeem themselves, the Philadelphia Inquirer featured Joe Pitts and Lois Herr of the PA-16 U.S. House race today in their “The Candidates Speak” segment. The topics they shared their thoughts on were Iraq (of course), taxes, and America (interesting that “taxes” would be so prominent, but as far as Bruce Toll and Brian Tierney of Philadelphia Media Holdings LLC is concerned, it’s all about priorities I suppose).

I’ll start with Pancake Joe first, because some of what he has to say is truly the stuff of cheap parody (the problem, of course, is that he’s completely serious).

IRAQ:While removing Saddam Hussein and taking the fight to the terrorists were the right things to do, mistakes have been made. Disbanding the Iraqi military and leaving hundreds of thousands of militarily trained men unemployed was perhaps the worst mistake.

Of course, it would have been nice if Pitts had bothered to point that out to President Stupid Head and the rest of Bushco at the time, but though I just checked, I have no record of him or his fellow Repugs ever doing anything than telling those unkempt liberal bloggers like me and other ne’er-do-wells who complained about Dubya’s Excellent Iraq Adventure to stop their whining, shut up and Clap Louder!

What happens next in Iraq will have a direct impact on the future of the broader Middle East. Withdrawal or defeat in Iraq would embolden the terrorists and leave Iran the dominant power in the region, with Hezbollah and Iraqi Shiite militias among its proxies. We must adapt to win. We must be willing to learn and change tactics. I believe there is nothing wrong with speaking to our enemies.

I would say that Joe is at least six months too late with this prediction.

And isn’t it funny how Joe is advocating “speaking to our enemies” after we blew Iraq to pieces while our enemy Saddam Hussein was telling us over and over that he didn’t have WMD any more; we obviously weren’t “speaking” to him at the time (not that I’d ever trust Hussein on anything, but the inconvenient fact for both Dubya and Joe is that, around March of 2003 before the war started, Hans Blix of the IAEA was saying the same thing as Saddam regarding the stockpiles).

Achieving results through personal relationships between leaders is always preferable to military engagement. We spoke with the Soviets and we should be willing to speak with Iran.

Then why did your boss just kiss off Ahmadinejad’s letter (yes, I know it was rambling propaganda of the “glass-always-half-full” variety, but since all of that is so familiar to Dubya, he should have recognized it immediately when it was spouted by another world leader…in the figurative sense only in Ahmadinejad’s case, though).

The bottom line, however, is that the War on Terror is a war we must win. Our enemy is consciously and methodically intent on the destruction of our way of life. Abandoning the fight where it is - in Iraq, Afghanistan, and elsewhere - would only result in the front line of the war returning to American cities. Whatever mistakes have been made, the War on Terror remains a war we must win.

Gosh, Joe, I was actually nostalgic to hear the inane claptrap of “We have to fight the terrorists over there so we don’t have to fight them over here.” I guess it was considered passé by all but the most primitive winger knuckle draggers such as yourself. It’s nice to know that you’re a man of convictions, regardless of how wrong they are.

TAXES:I oppose increasing taxes. Simplifying the tax code, enacting line-item rescissions, and ratifying the Balanced Budget Amendment are all important priorities that remain undone because of Democratic opposition in Congress.

If you and your fellow Repugs (and Dubya, of course) hadn’t pissed away the surplus you inherited from the Clinton Administration, there really wouldn’t be any urgency about this issue. And Clinton was a Democrat, wasn’t he, Joe?

While controlling discretionary spending is important, automatic entitlement spending is the real challenge. Without entitlement reform, we are headed toward a fiscal tsunami.

We’re pretty far along that path now because you and the Repugs have spent like a bunch of drunken sailors, blowing the budget utterly to pieces.

For a decade now, Republicans have urgently been pushing for legislation to permanently save and strengthen Social Security and Medicare.

Does cutting Medicare by $6.4 billion serve to “strengthen” it, I wonder?

We proposed guaranteeing current benefits and cost of living adjustments for all present and pending retirees, while giving younger Americans the option to let their Social Security investment earn money like other retirement savings. Not only was this a good idea, it remains the only idea that will work. Nevertheless, Democratic Party leaders in Washington are content to block any movement on this issue, preferring to use the issue to scare seniors and score political points. Inaction on this issue will eventually result in massive tax hikes and benefit cuts. Every year we do nothing costs us another $600 billion, just in Social Security.

In the absence of any serious proposal from Democratic Party leaders, it appears that they are content to let that happen.

As I’ve said many times in the past, we should have a bipartisan commission looking at both Social Security and Medicare (and I’m not big on bipartisan commissions, but we need one for these two issues). I’ve also said we should get rid of the cap of $90,000 on earnings subject to Social Security withholding.

And as far as the privatization scheme, there are probably many articles I could link to in order to debunk Pitts’ blather on this topic, but this one should suffice for now (i.e., younger workers no longer paying into the system and helping to dry up funds, the ridiculous cost of privatizing, the rewards for the financial services companies that would stand to benefit who contribute heavily to Republicans in terms of fees generated, etc.).

AMERICA:America remains the "city on the hill," shining for all to see. America remains the most prosperous, free, and egalitarian society in the world.

Americans give more to charity than any other people in the world and do more to help the poor and oppressed of other lands than any other nation. I have always been, and always will be, proud to be an American. I am concerned, though, that the traditional, nuclear family is threatened by pressures from many areas.

Wait for it…

Too many children in some demographic groups grow up in homes with no father. Too many men aren't taking responsibility for their families. The consequences of this are severe. Entertainment media, political leaders, religious institutions, and communities need to work together to reestablish the primacy of the family. The family is the fundamental building block of society. As the family weakens, America weakens. In Congress, I have been active in the Fatherhood Task Force, which works to promote responsible fatherhood.

The “Fatherhood Task Force,” huh Joe? Do you randomly invade homes in PA-16 to make sure that the mother is barefoot in the kitchen with the kids in tow while laboring over a hot skillet and Dad is sitting in his recliner in the living room with pipe and slippers wearing his jacket with patches on the elbows listening attentively to Fox News?

Sheesh (as far as I'm concerned, there is NO WAY that this is a legitimate function of any government deserving of my respect).

I have pushed for legislation to restrict the ability of courts to arbitrarily redefine the family. I have advocated for legislation to toughen enforcement of broadcast decency laws and promote marriage. I have a number of priorities on my agenda in Congress; strengthening and defending families comes first.

Funny how “strengthening and defending families” morphs so seamlessly into “hating the gay” for Republicans, doesn’t it?

Truth be told, I love the fact that Joe spends so much time on this typical boilerplate freeper nonsense. It allows great candidates like Lois Herr and Lois Murphy to concentrate on issues that matter, like providing better constituent service to the city of Reading which was divided by idiotic gerrymandering in Harrisburg.

Well, now that we’ve heard from Joe Pitts (R-T.V. Land), let’s hear from Lois Herr, who has run both an exciting and interesting campaign thus far.

IRAQ:Our presence in Iraq and Afghanistan is fueling terrorism. We must work to affect a comprehensive political solution there, redeploying our troops to the edge of the battlefield and not in the midst of civil war there.

To protect America from terror attacks, the 9/11 Commission's recommendations must be enacted. Congress again failed to do this year. Those recommendations are comprehensive and common sense. They balance security and civil liberties. The Commission issued a report card on the progress made about a year ago, and it is not encouraging.

Here is what I will work to get done in Congress:

- Redirect homeland security money to top threats.

- Pass comprehensive chemical and nuclear plant security bills that are not written by industry lobbyists.

- Fully fund police, fire and EMT needs, which Congress has again failed to do this year.

- Pass a serious bill that protects our ports and screens the 95 percent of cargo that comes into this country untouched.

- Stop adopting policies, such as condoning torture, that create more terrorists and put American soldiers at risk.

- Give law enforcement every legal tool to track and fight terror, but, without fail, protect our sacred Constitution.

TAXES:Tax cuts directed at the wealthiest, instead of middle-class families, do not increase consumer spending, which is the engine of our economy. We need to:

- Reform the tax code to flatten the rates, close loopholes, eliminate the AMT [alternative minimum tax], eliminate unnecessary IRS regulations, provide real tax relief to middle-class families, and encourage savings and investments, while keeping the mortgage deduction, child tax credits, and deductions for charitable contributions. This will reduce the deficit by about $100 billion over five years and reduce noncompliance, which costs $300 billion annually. If people see everyone paying their fair share, compliance goes up.

- Gradually eliminate the cap on the payroll tax and stop using the Social Security surplus to hide the real deficit.

- Limit farm subsidies so that the benefits go to family farms rather than huge agribusinesses.

- Stop funding weapons systems that are designed to fight the Soviet Union.

- Eliminate fraud and waste in all departments, particularly Defense, eliminate sweetheart contracts that the General Accounting Office says cost billions every year.

- Make earmarks for so-called "pork" spending completely transparent, which the Congress failed to do this year.

- Reform our health care system to decouple health insurance from employment.

AMERICA:I am happy that Americans are taking a greater interest in politics. I am also encouraged by the forgiving and generous nature of those who have suffered tragedy, as witnessed by the forgiveness extended by the Amish after the horrible events in Lancaster County recently.

I am particularly disappointed by the lack of competence demonstrated by the executive branch of our government, and I am concerned by the growing indifference and intolerance of those in the administration for the needs of the citizens of this country, not to mention the rights of all of us. Likewise, I am appalled by the failure of Congress to exercise its role of oversight over the administration in these matters.

I am also discouraged by the attempts of religious zealots to insert their moral beliefs into the legislative process and our laws. If elected, I will continue to speak up for the continued separation on church and state.

I plan to be elected, but if not, I will continue to work for health-care reform; farmland preservation; an open and responsive government; and the election of other, like-minded concerned citizens.

I have only a very minor qualm about the great things Lois had to say, and that is that I get nervous when people starting thinking of ways to try and “simplify” the Internal Revenue Service. I don’t like paying taxes either, but there is a reason why it operates the way it does (my reasons for defending it are personal). Hopefully I will never be audited, but until I am (again, hopefully not), I will continue to feel this way.

All of the campaigns are winding down, so if it’s still possible to contribute and help out Lois, please do so here (she will also need help with the “Get Out The Vote” effort, and if you live in PA-16 or the nearby vicinity, anything you can do would be GREATLY appreciated).