I had been meaning to post about this all week, but I did not have the consent of the family and I had to be careful not to violate HIPA regulations. Fortunately, however, John Morrison of the Philadelphia Daily News wrote this wonderful tribute instead:You cannot possibly imagine the love, sacrifice, and dedication that the Marlow family poured into Mary Kate's life during her years on this earth, by the way. And from what I heard about the viewing tonight, it was truly touching, full of tributes from everyone, including Mary Kate's classmates mentioned in Morrison's column.Mary Kate Marlow, 11, a very special girl
By JOHN F. MORRISON
morrisj@phillynews.com
ONE CAN only hope that Mary Kate Marlow knew of the positive impact she had on people.
People were drawn to the little girl in the wheelchair, whether in school, church, a shopping mall, the street.
What was it about Mary Kate that drew people to her? The sparkle in her eyes, a countenance that many described as angelic, her strength as she coped with a hopeless disease?
It wasn't what she said, because Mary Kate could not speak. In fact, her only voluntary movement was the blinking of her eyes.
Yet, this little girl managed to go to school every day, where she was adored and fussed over by both teachers and fellow students.
"The kids fought over who would help her out of her wheelchair and push her into class," said her aunt, Kathy McCabe. "Her classmates couldn't have been more accepting of her."
Mary Kate died Sunday of complications of nueral axonal dystrophy, a congenital, progressive condition that gradually paralyzed her. She was 11 and lived in Holland, Bucks County.
Jake Weiner, a 9-year-old classmate at the Newtown Elementary School, might have said it best when he wrote to Mary Kate's parents shortly after her death.
"I learned a lot about Mary Kate and how she communicated with her eyes. Because we spent time together, I was able to understand her really well. Her eyes told me a lot about her, her thoughts and her friends.
"There are so many good things I can say about Mary Kate. She was a great listener. I could always talk to Mary Kate and tell her about the things going on in my day. I knew that Mary Kate was someone I could talk to if something was bothering me or if I just wanted to talk.
"Mary Kate was happy. I could tell this by the shine in her eyes."
In class, Mary Kate wore a device called a SCATIR (Self-Calibrating Auditory Tone InfraRed) switch that fit over her head and her eyes to record her blinks in a computer. She was one of the first to use the new technology, developed at the University of Michigan.
That was how she was able to respond in class as she took the school's sixth-grade curriculum.
"She was very communicative," said her aunt. "She was a fascinating little girl. She never questioned anything about her life.
"It was amazing the good she brought out in people."
Her mother, Eileen, Kathy's sister, said it's difficult to define the impact Mary Kate had on others.
"We took her to church every Sunday and people would just be drawn to her," said Eileen, a critical-care nurse at Nazareth Hospital. "She was more than just a girl in a wheelchair. She was something beyond that. She had an angelic countenance, her eyes just sparkled.
"If you believe everyone has a mission in life, that was hers, the effect she had on people.
"She loved being with people. It made her happy. Her nieces and nephews would come into her room and talk and sing to her, and her eyes would get wider."
"She touched so many lives," said her father, Tom Marlow, an executive for Kinder Morgan Corp. "She always gave to people."
Tom recalled the time Mary Kate met an uncle who was skeptical of her ability to communicate.
"She just closed her eyes for a couple of seconds and that was how she said, 'Hello Uncle John.' He was convinced."
Mary Kate also is survived by her brother, Tommy, 6; her grandmother, Kathleen Conklin, and a "special aunt," Sister Maureen Conklin.
Services: Funeral Mass 10 a.m. tomorrow at St. Bede the Venerable Church, 1071 Holland Road, Holland. Friends may call at 6 this evening at the Fluehr Funeral Home, 800 Newtown-Richboro Road, Richville. Burial will be in Resurrection Cemetery, Bensalem.
In lieu of flowers, contributions may be made to Children's Hospital Pulmonary Medicine, c/o Dr. Howard Panitch, 34th Street and Civic Center Boulevard, Philadelphia 19104
It is a crime for any parent to have to bury their child, and it is an obscenity for any parent to have to bury their child this time of year. However, we who were close to Mary Kate (we are friends of the Marlow family by virtue of the fact that my wife provided critical care for Mary Kate and the young one has played with their son) know that, as difficult as it is to accept this, we must find a way to do just that and know that she is at eternal peace at this moment. Beyond that, we are sure that she is playing and chatting up a storm amidst fields of eternal sunshine with bows in her curly, chestnut hair dangling in the wind.
The life of any child is a gift from God, and that was never more true than in the case of Mary Kate. Though we celebrate the coming of the savior at this time of year (we who are Christians), we know that Mary Kate, having left us here on earth, now enjoys eternal life. May we all live lives of the type she lived that will allow us the blessing of joining her one day.
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