The Jihadi Recruitment Agency

So now it looks like Jose Padilla will FINALLY be charged at long last with “aiding suspected terror organizations abroad.” This is a far cry from the original charges brought by former U.S. Attorney General John “Lost To A Dead Guy” Ashcroft.

As mentioned in this USA Today article(from Comcast):

(But) the indictment makes no mention of any ties to high-level al-Qaeda leaders, any plot to detonate a radioactive explosive device or plans to blow up apartment buildings in the USA, as Ashcroft and former deputy attorney general Jim Comey had once alleged.

Gonzales reportedly said something also along the lines of Comey’s quote “not being legally relevant anymore,” or something like that. Assuming it ever was to begin with, I think that’s Gonzales’ polite way of letting us know that Comey and Ashcroft were “out to lunch” on this from the very beginning.

I think this quote from one of Padilla’s lawyers really explains what’s going on here.

Another Padilla attorney, Andy Patel, said he was not surprised at the indictment or the timing, with a petition pending before the U.S. Supreme Court over the constitutionality of the way "enemy combatants" have been handled by the Bush administration.

"The issue before the Supreme Court is still alive and active -- that the president signed an order to hold an American citizen for three years without criminal charges," Patel said. "The fact that they now decided to charge Mr. Padilla with a criminal offense doesn't mean they couldn't do this again to another person in the future.

"The Supreme Court will make the decision about whether or not they want to take this case."

In July, Patel argued before a federal appeals court in Richmond, Virginia, that the government ought to charge Padilla or release him.

"The fact that the government filed criminal charges is a vindication not just for Mr. Padilla but for the whole constitutional process," he said.

Padilla's attorneys filed their latest appeal to the high court on October 25, and the government had until next Monday to respond. This indictment likely will make that pending Supreme Court appeal moot.

So what exactly is Padilla accused of at this point now, anyway? Well, here are the three counts in the indictment:

Conspiracy to murder U.S. nationals
Conspiracy to provide material support to terrorists
Providing material support to terrorists

And for this, Dubya said he was “a grave threat to national security” (bad stuff though it is)?

Are they kidding me? (and hey, as long as you’re talking about people we REALLY have to worry about, by the way, what about that “Osama bin Forgotten” guy? What’s going on with HIM?)

Oh…actually, there is apparently one more thing that Padilla did wrong that makes him the number one Bushco bad guy out there, apparently. And here it is.

He completed “the Mujahedeen Data Form.”

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Horrors! Can this be possible? OMIGOD!!

“The Mujahedeen Data Form” – why, it sounds like a terrorist personality survey. “Draw a picture of a tree, a house, and some enriched uranium on the tip of a nuclear warhead.”

Well, this is how I imagine that the Mujahedeen Data Form would read (all multiple choice), assuming that all questions and answers on the form, as well as even knowledge of the form’s existence, had been obtained from Khalid Mohammed after his head had been stuck into a dirty toilet for the 25th time in a row (for the record, a Google search on this topic yielded absolutely nothing).

What strengths do you bring to the organization?

- A thorough understanding of cave topography in the Tora Bora region
- A background in handling explosives and small arms
- The ability to answer questions from reporters and sound benign while all the while hiding my evil intent
- The fervent desire to destroy all infidel Zionists and their sympathizers

What would you consider to be your weaknesses?

- Occasional moments of introspection, from which I purge myself through self mutilation
- Inability to tolerate the itching when my burka chafes against my skin
- Fear of pain from shaving all of my body hair in anticipation of greeting the virgins who surely await me in paradise after I sacrifice myself in a suicide bombing
- The fervent desire to destroy all infidel Zionists and their sympathizers

What is your preferred weapon of choice when fighting the infidels?

- Shoulder-fired rocket launchers
- Improvised explosive devices (IEDs)
- See first question, third answer
- The fervent desire to destroy all infidel Zionists and their sympathizers

For what do you desire the most on this earth?

- Autographed photograph of Abdul Qadeer Khan
- A conjugal relationship with either a yak and/or George W. Bush
- Deodorant
- The fervent desire to destroy all infidel Zionists and their sympathizers

How many children do you want to father with CNN reporter Christiane Amanpour?

- None, because she is an infidel
- Ten or more
- Hundreds
- The fervent desire to destroy all infidel Zionists and their sympathizers

What, in your estimation, makes you the best candidate for this position?

- The fervent desire to destroy all infidel Zionists and their sympathizers
- The fervent desire to destroy all infidel Zionists and their sympathizers
- The fervent desire to destroy all infidel Zionists and their sympathizers
- The fervent desire to destroy all infidel Zionists and their sympathizers

Hey, for anyone taking umbrage over my attitude on this, please allow me to point out how ridiculous it is that we are wasting time with this unredeemable character and engage in these escapades more worthy of Mack Sennett and the Keystone Kops while we continue to be neglectful in preventing some kind of a recurrence of 9/11 by underfunding our first responders (also, the investigation into the Anthrax letter scare – remember that also? – has apparently stalled under the guidance of Gonzales and the Justice Department).

Bushco has said that it is above the law by deciding to hold American citizens as “enemy combatants” without due process rights, and that has been further enforced by judicial rulings from John Roberts and Michael Luttig, among others. THAT is what is at issue here, as Andy Patel said. Only Bushco could find a way to generate sympathy for a human accident like Jose Padilla given that any of us are at risk for the same type of treatment, and that is not amusing in any way, shape or form.