A Reading From The Book of Orrin

This was inspired (if that’s the correct word) from last Thursday’s Daily Kos post that describes the interview Orrin Hatch, Repug capo of the Senate Judiciary Committee, gave to Faux News about Supreme Court nominee John Roberts. In the interview, Hatch compared Roberts and the judiciary committee to Jesus and the Pharisees (I swear, I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried).

Hypocrisies, CH 12, V7-11

And it came to pass that the woman Arizonan judge unburdened herself and sheddeth her cloak of righteousness that had been much afflicted by her remarks upon the Eminent Domain ruling and her decision in the holy cause of the well-moneyed oppressed in the University of Michigan law suit, though she had helped install the High Exalted Leader upon the throne of Christian domination.

And yea, upon such turn of events, the pestilence of George Soros, Moveon.org and the People For The American Way descended, and a darkness spread upon the land.

And lo, upon this blight, the clamor of millionaires and Fortune 500-company stockholders arose, and their cries of neglected return on investment touched the ears of the High Exalted Leader, and he was much afraid.

And it fell beholden unto him to appoint a worthy nominee to succeed the woman Arizonan judge, and this he did so, yea and verily and forthwith, reaching across the broad conservative firmament to touch the wallet in lieu of a heart of a man not unlike himself, a true believing foot soldier who had been there all along anyway.

The High Exalted Leader thus did endure questioning and sentiment averse to this, even unto sleeping a few nights on the couch at the behest of his wife.

And thus did the High Exalted Leader speak. “Behold, I have called ye forth, John Roberts, fellow middle-aged intolerant conservative shill and worthy counselor upon whose recommendations I determine the asset allocation of my stock portfolio.

Thus beginneth now the trial in front of the TV cameras among those that doth blighteth the land with fables of multi-income households, substandard wages, lack of health coverage, and employment migrating to other countries. Thou are the unbelievers, the husband of heir to ketchup and pickle fortunes, driver of automobile off Chappaquiddick Bridge, and harlot to the pretender who once sat on my throne. Yea, speaketh unto them not about Roe v. Wade, the 2000 Florida recount, and thou membership in the Federalist Society.

I cast you now unto the den of iniquity known as the U.S. Congress. Smile and nod, laugh, cajole, even picketh thy nose, but keepest thou thy silence. "

And thus did John Roberts go forward unto his confirmation hearings with the pride of arrogance, smile of deception, and the quick-fading warmth of self satisfaction.

Lector: This is a reading from the Book of Orrin
All: Thanks be to Shrub

If I keep going with stuff like this, I guess a spit is going to get warmed up for me too...