The Legend In His Own Mind Speaks

The photo, by the way, represents an ivory tower collapsing, much like the arguments of Victor Davis Hanson in this column.

Recently, several conservative politicians, moralists and evangelicals have been embroiled in scandal. As congressmen, Tom Delay and Duke Cunningham had publicized brushes with ethics laws, while their former colleague Mark Foley and Ted Haggard, who was pastor of a large evangelical church, were implicated in embarrassing sexual affairs.

In the past, scandal has hit other prominent conservative commentators who preach public virtue while indulging their private appetites, whether for gambling, drug use or other vices.

Aw, c’mon Vic, be a guy and send a shout to ol’ Flush Limbore himself on this, willya?

But moralist Republicans don't have the market cornered on hypocrisy. If giving into excess embarrasses some of them, for a number of Democrats — supposedly the party of the people — hypocrisy arises from enjoying elite privileges while alleging that America bestows favors unduly on the few.

Hanson will attempt to back this up in a minute (the operative word being “attempt”).

In today's Roman circus, talking populist while enjoying the high life mixes no better for the left than mouthing old-fashioned virtue and living the low life do for the right.

Billionaire liberal George Soros has harangued the Bush administration for its supposed amorality in Iraq. But he's bought into it — literally. Capitalist profit seems always to trump his loud leftist ideology. That might explain why Soros' management company just purchased nearly 2 million stock shares of Halliburton, the contractor formerly run by hobgoblin to the left Dick Cheney and now demonized by liberals as a war profiteer.

Al Gore has preached to millions about the dangers of climate change caused by profligate carbon emissions. But his mansion and the private jets he has often used burn up far more fossil fuels than what the average citizens whom Gore browbeats to change their wasteful lifestyles consume.

Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi promised to end the privilege of Republican elites. Well and good. But as speaker of the House, she requested a gas-guzzling outsized jet for her personal trips back to San Francisco — at a cost that far surpassed that accorded to her predecessor.

Presidential candidate John Edwards serially laments the "two Americas," one wealthy, one poor. But this multimillionaire trial lawyer just finished building a new 28,000 square-foot mansion. His palace is beyond the means even of most people belonging to Edwards' rich nation who supposedly benefit at the expense of poorer Americans.

Okaaayyyy….so, I’ll try to summarize here.

Hanson first harangues Tom DeLay (who, by the way, has apparently turned on everyone in his new book – how hilarious that a publisher would actually pay him for the privilege), who was indicted by a Texas grand jury for violating that state’s campaign finance laws in 2005 and resigned from Congress because of his involvement in the Jack Abramoff lobbying scandal a year later. Hanson then chastises Duke Cunningham, who pled guilty to federal charges of conspiracy to commit bribery, mail fraud, wire fraud, and tax evasion and received a sentence of eight years and four months in prison and an order to pay $1.8 million in restitution last March. Also on Hanson’s nanny-finger-wagging hit list are former House Rep Mark Foley, who sent sexually suggestive messages to congressional pages before he resigned, and evangelical preacher Ted Haggard, who apparently had his own same-gender-related issues along with a certain fondness for methamphetamines.

So who does Hanson offer in comparison?

Billionaire George Soros, who, in Hanson’s myopic eye, is guilty of a similar crime by way of purchasing stock in Halliburton; Al Gore, who responds to typical freeper attacks on his alleged energy misuse here; and Nancy Pelosi, implicated in yet another permutation of the ridiculous claim that she kicked and screamed and stomped her feet for a larger private jet.

Oh, and Hanson also takes this opportunity to slam John Edwards because – horrors, can it be??!! – he built an addition to his mansion!!

So…in response to Republican behavior that is outright or potentially illegal, to say nothing of shamelessly crude at the very least (and I know you have to put an asterisk next to Haggard here since he’s not an elected official), Hanson offers us a billionaire who bought stock in a hopelessly unethical company, a former Vice President falsely accused of inefficient energy use, a sitting House Speaker and her imaginary outburst over a plane, and a former Senator and presidential candidate who renovated his home (and since Hanson has made a big deal out of Edwards’ domestic improvement, I expect that he will provide detailed information on the lodgings of Rudy Giuliani, John McCain, Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich at his earliest opportunity).

Actually, though, since some time has passed between the publication of this Hanson nonsense and my chance to post on it, I should note that a new freeper “scandal” concerning John Edwards has emerged, with Kathleen Parker of the Orlando Sentinel devoting an entire column to it (the sign of a true pro I suppose that she can breath life into such a fantasy).

Does Parker criticize Edwards over his health care plan? No.

Does she take him to task on his call to start bringing our troops out of Iraq? Of course not.

Any mention of the Edwards’ campaign’s decision to purchase carbon offsets for more efficient energy use? Don’t bother to ask.

No, Parker browbeats Edwards here for the unpardonable sin (in her eyes) of fussing with his hair!

And I suppose next week, we’ll be treated to Parker’s revelation that Edwards’ middle name is actually Hussein! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!

Dear God, I hope it doesn’t get any sillier than this, but somehow I suspect it will.

For both liberals and conservatives, the days of the simple-living Harry Truman and clean-living Dwight Eisenhower are apparently long gone — and for two reasons.

First, the country has changed. Globalization, high technology and billions in borrowed money have made Americans in general materially wealthy beyond our parents' wildest imagination.

Dude, try coming down to earth a bit and finding a clue about rising health care and energy costs and the threat to our jobs from offshoring, willya?

All that money and leisure have brought constant temptations for indulgence. For all the rhetoric of "family values" and "two nations," Americans from all walks of life gobble up everything from video games to luxury cars on nearly unlimited easy credit.

Debt, drink, drugs, gambling, lotteries and sex all happen without much restraint or rebuke — and our most prominent are often the most susceptible to these new appetites. In modern American life, "do you own thing" on a charge card is the new national gospel. Despite the nostalgic rhetoric of morality and populism, few Democrats or Republicans have constituents in bib overalls plowing alone till dusk out on the south 40 acres.

Yo, Clem, mosey on down to tha’ Piggly Wiggly and fetch me some more buckshot. Ah think ah see a revenuer on our propertee, or maybe jus’ sum knowitall communist (sorry – columnist).

Second, in our world of celebrity sound bites and media saturation, talk, not reality, is what counts. Multimillionaires lecture us about fairness, while sinners rail about sin. In politics, hundreds of millions of dollars are spent each election year on campaigning. Image-makers, pollsters and media advisers shape every election. Fluffy candidates are removed enough from the electorate that the old idea that their own actions should match their rhetoric is seen as hopelessly old-fashioned.

The political leaders of this country are essentially too often homogenous. Republicans may represent constituents of traditional values; Democrats may champion the underprivileged. But their similar lifestyles reflect more a political class's shared privilege than the inherent differences of their respective constituents' beliefs. National figures may talk conservative or liberal, but they both are more likely to act like libertines.

This is all to laugh, ultimately, and instead of continuing to pillory the author for this, I’m just going to turn it over to James Wolcott, a far superior writer to yours truly who puts V.D. Hanson in his place here.