More Lighthearted Fun With Pat

And what would the New Year be without some dire prediction of imminent destruction from Pat Robertson anyway?

And I mean, it’s not like he’s ever made bogus prognostications before, right? (by the way, in the Wikipedia story, read about his supposed service commendations and the true story behind them...what a hoot).

And I got kind of a perverse kick out of this paragraph…

In May, Robertson said God told him that storms and possibly a tsunami were to crash into America's coastline in 2006. Even though the U.S. was not hit with a tsunami, Robertson on Tuesday cited last spring's heavy rains and flooding in New England as partly fulfilling the prediction.

For the purposes of disclosure, I should add that we were playing Trivial Pursuit in our house a few days ago (the “Boomer” edition, I believe), and the answer to one of the trivia questions was Gerald Ford. Knowing the former president was not in good health, I said sympathetically that I didn’t think he was long for this world. The next day, I found out that he’d died (true).

Does that mean I should start making predictions since I have a better record now than Robertson (I mean, I “partly fulfilled it,” didn’t I)?

Well then, I believe I’m qualified to prognosticate on my own, so here goes.

On Wednesday morning July 25th of this year at 9:36 AM EST, Godzilla, having traversed the underwater distance from Tokyo Bay all the way to the east coast of the United States, will rise from the Atlantic Ocean and completely destroy the headquarters of the Christian Broadcasting Network at Virginia Beach, Virginia. He will trample indiscriminately everywhere and leave a trail of carnage unlike anything seen in that area of our country since the last college spring break.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.