Questionable Moments In History

Inspired (?) by this news story…

Christmas Eve, 1776, Bucks County, Pennsylvania…

Private in Continental Army: Gen. Washington, sir, we’ve received word that a Hessian force has gathered across the Delaware River in Trenton, NJ, but they’re all celebrating the holiday. We could surprise them and seize a victory that would greatly help our cause.

Washington: Oh, what? Uh – sorry, I wasn’t listening. Besides, I’m consulting with Cadwalader and Eqing; we’re trying to come up with a New Way Forward. They had the idea of creating a Revolutionary War Study Group, and they recommend staying put until after the holiday. Makes sense to me.

London, December 24, 1943…

Private in Allied Forces: Gen. Eisenhower, sir, President Roosevelt has just named you Supreme Allied Commander in Europe. Congratulations, General!

Eisenhower: Not now, private – can’t you see I’m busy meeting with Gen. Bradley and Gen. Montgomery? We’ve created an interim task force called the World War II Study Group, and we’re going to plan a New Way Forward in Europe for Roosevelt. We’ll issue our findings and then await word in the new year.

Private: But sir…does this mean you won’t accept the promotion? What about our entry into Europe?

Eisenhower: I don’t have time to discuss this now! If Brad, Monty and I can work this thing out, we’ll be greeted as liberators after we launch the invasion and hit the beach in France.

Christmas Eve, 1967, Saigon

Private in U.S. Army: Gen. Westmoreland, sir, we’ve received word that the VC are planning a major offensive timed for what they call Tet, the day the lunar new year begins. They might even try to hit our embassy.

Westmoreland: Ah, more bogus intelligence. They and the PAVN could never hit us like that. That sounds as crazy as launching an assault at our air base at Khe Sanh. But never mind. I’m working on a New Way Forward in this war, and I’m going to submit my findings to Lyndon Johnson after the holiday. He may get it sometime next February, I guess. Nope – no shot of them hitting us like that anytime soon.

I guess that last one isn’t as implausible as I would have liked. Still, my point remains.

If Dubya is going to aspire to act like a legitimate wartime president (I mean, he could never seriously BE one), he should somehow recognize the inconvenient fact that our people are still being slaughtered while he continues to dawdle over the carnage he more than anyone else has created! It’s obvious the phrase “window of opportunity” isn’t one he will ever understand.

And since he refuses to comprehend this, all he remains is a parody of a chief executive.

And as always, thank you red staters for inflicting us with this utterly ineffectual pretender.