Fire Up "The Speed Bump Express"

So the showdown between "The Surreal Bob Casey" and Scumbag Santorum starts beginning tomorrow (just checked the latest results from The Inquirer - the good news, though, is that Patrick Murphy currently leads Andy Warren 66 to 33 percent, respectively, with about half of the district votes tallied so far).

(By the way, the post title pertains to a quote from some member of the local punditocracy here who said that Casey would have "a minor speed bump" on his way to receiving the party endorsement, meaning facing Chuck Pennacchio and Alan Sandals in the Democratic primary - despite the valiant efforts of Chuck and his people, Casey appears to have won this going away).

Aside from utter, gut-wrenching, violent repugnance towards your opposition, Mr. Casey Jr., you yourself have shown me nothing in the primary to make me want to cast my vote for you (most of the time I didn't even know where you were...your spokesman Larry Smar was easily more visible than you).

I'm not a political genius by any means, but to me, the point of a primary is to craft your message and your campaign through a tough test among fellow party members, sort of like a rehearsal from your attorney before you prepare to take the stand and testify under cross-examination.

Since, from what I could determine (and I looked HARD to try and figure out what you were up to), you basically took a pass on the entire primary and managed to get away with it (a calculated position, I realize), you now will have to face the Repug slime machine, a media which will turn hostile on you if you don't feed it what it wants in a digestible format that can be translated to teaser sound bites in lieu of actual news content, and possibly the most brazen, intellectually reptilian politician this state has certainly seen in quite awhile and the most egregious on the national stage this side of Bill Frist (oh, and did I mention that, unfortunately, he happens to be a highly skilled campaigner as well?), all without the benefit of a thorough amount of preparation.

I hope you now realize the enormity of the task before you, Mr. Casey Jr. Take the polls and throw them out the window; your lead will be reduced to single digits over time when all the factors come into play; it's inevitable.

I hope you can "bone up" and learn "on the fly," Mr. Casey Jr. If not, you're cooked (and Scumbag Santorum, God help us, will be returned for six more years).

The race has barely started, and you are already an underdog.